[Joseph nods and then tentatively begins to reach back. This is always the way it goes. It's habit. Caesar always reaches for Joseph just a little bit, like maybe he's not sure he's allowed to, until the moment they make contact. From then on out, Caesar holds on tight. Joseph hopes this will be the same. He wants it to be the same. But the context is different now, isn't it? Things shifted and changed during the party, but they've irrevocably done so from Caesar's perspective as well with Joseph telling him that he loves him and the consequences of that love can be damned for all he cares. Joseph lets their fingers slide together before curling his to hold onto Caesar's hand. His voice is softer this time when he says it.]
I love you.
[He feels like he's said it a hundred times or more already. It's possible and even likely at this point he doesn't need to say it anymore. But he keeps saying it anyway and he'll say it as many times in as many different ways as he thinks he needs to, as he wants to, or until Caesar tells him to stop. Because Joseph knows what he feels is real and it matters. And it matters that it's Caesar that he loves because Caesar matters in ways he's not sure that Caesar can really see for himself or fully understand. And that's okay. Joseph believes there will come a time when he does. It might not be in the next hour, next day, next month, or even the next year, but he'll see it eventually. He'll see himself the way Joseph does.]
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I love you.
[He feels like he's said it a hundred times or more already. It's possible and even likely at this point he doesn't need to say it anymore. But he keeps saying it anyway and he'll say it as many times in as many different ways as he thinks he needs to, as he wants to, or until Caesar tells him to stop. Because Joseph knows what he feels is real and it matters. And it matters that it's Caesar that he loves because Caesar matters in ways he's not sure that Caesar can really see for himself or fully understand. And that's okay. Joseph believes there will come a time when he does. It might not be in the next hour, next day, next month, or even the next year, but he'll see it eventually. He'll see himself the way Joseph does.]