[And that's the first time since Joseph said his true feelings that he begins to feel a little shy at hearing that, and he can feel his face starting to warm. He can't even begin to say why that out of all the things Caesar's said is what gets to him, but it does. No, that's not quite right. Joseph knows that between the two of them, Caesar's the one with more experience regardless when it comes to making other people feel good. So that maybe there isn't such a stark contrast as he thought there would be...well, that's good to know. Really good to know.]
[Joseph shivers a little at the fingers on his bare skin as he places a kiss just above Caesar's pulse, grazing gently with his teeth. Caesar's pulse... There'd been a lot of times at the beginning when Joseph was just fascinated with the fact that Caesar was breathing. He'd watch carefully, subtly, for every rise and fall of Caesar's chest, reach out to him just to be sure that his skin still felt warm. Now, he doesn't worry about that stuff nearly as much because he's solid and he's real. There's no denying that he's alive. Here.]
[It's still not fair. Joseph doesn't want to think about it, but it does come to him unbidden that it's not fair that he's only alive here and not back home. Joseph's not really worried about where this will all lead or how long it will last, but it's not fair that it's only here. It's just not fair and he doesn't think Caesar feels the same way because he's had plenty of time to accept it, to accept that he's...gone. But Joseph doesn't want to accept it. He doesn't know how to accept it. He wants to hold onto the belief that just because he's willful that maybe he can rewrite history, change Caesar's fate, but he can't do something like that, can he?]
[No, he can't. The most he can hope is that whenever it's time to go back — and there will come a time, he knows that even as much as he might pretend like it's otherwise — that he'll remember all of this. Is that selfish? It probably is, but Joseph doesn't care. He's never cared about being selfish. He wants what he wants and that's all there is to it. And he wants this. He wants Caesar.]
[Joseph's kisses beneath Caesar's jaw slow to a stop before he moves back close to Caesar's lips, just a hair's breadth away from another kiss.]
no subject
[Joseph shivers a little at the fingers on his bare skin as he places a kiss just above Caesar's pulse, grazing gently with his teeth. Caesar's pulse... There'd been a lot of times at the beginning when Joseph was just fascinated with the fact that Caesar was breathing. He'd watch carefully, subtly, for every rise and fall of Caesar's chest, reach out to him just to be sure that his skin still felt warm. Now, he doesn't worry about that stuff nearly as much because he's solid and he's real. There's no denying that he's alive. Here.]
[It's still not fair. Joseph doesn't want to think about it, but it does come to him unbidden that it's not fair that he's only alive here and not back home. Joseph's not really worried about where this will all lead or how long it will last, but it's not fair that it's only here. It's just not fair and he doesn't think Caesar feels the same way because he's had plenty of time to accept it, to accept that he's...gone. But Joseph doesn't want to accept it. He doesn't know how to accept it. He wants to hold onto the belief that just because he's willful that maybe he can rewrite history, change Caesar's fate, but he can't do something like that, can he?]
[No, he can't. The most he can hope is that whenever it's time to go back — and there will come a time, he knows that even as much as he might pretend like it's otherwise — that he'll remember all of this. Is that selfish? It probably is, but Joseph doesn't care. He's never cared about being selfish. He wants what he wants and that's all there is to it. And he wants this. He wants Caesar.]
[Joseph's kisses beneath Caesar's jaw slow to a stop before he moves back close to Caesar's lips, just a hair's breadth away from another kiss.]
I always feel good when I'm with you.