[It's stupid, too, the way he thought for whatever stupid reason that there was some threshold for this, some upper limit, that once he hit it he wouldn't be able to want Joseph anymore. He'd get there and that would be it, he'd just stay there and it would be fine, no more surprises, nothing. And it's not as though this is something he's never seen before, it's not that, it's just—]
[The feeling, the wanting, the possessive way he looks Joseph over, it's . . . not new. It's not the same not new as everything else, as the wanting in general; this, this specifically, looking at Joseph like this isn't new. It's just increased exponentially, but the feeling isn't totally foreign, and that terrifies him for long enough that he freezes and stares, feeling his heart pounding in the back of his throat.]
[When he comes back to himself, all of him moves at once: he pushes up on his elbows and surges up to close the tiny amount of space between them, one hand sliding up Joseph's back to grip at his shoulder, the other dragging nails across his stomach, slow and deliberate, as he works kisses up Joseph's chest to nose against his clavicle, teeth grazing as he drops barely-intelligible words against Joseph's skin. Guardati, Jojo, and he breathes in deep like if he doesn't have the smell of Joseph in his lungs he might just die.]
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[The feeling, the wanting, the possessive way he looks Joseph over, it's . . . not new. It's not the same not new as everything else, as the wanting in general; this, this specifically, looking at Joseph like this isn't new. It's just increased exponentially, but the feeling isn't totally foreign, and that terrifies him for long enough that he freezes and stares, feeling his heart pounding in the back of his throat.]
[When he comes back to himself, all of him moves at once: he pushes up on his elbows and surges up to close the tiny amount of space between them, one hand sliding up Joseph's back to grip at his shoulder, the other dragging nails across his stomach, slow and deliberate, as he works kisses up Joseph's chest to nose against his clavicle, teeth grazing as he drops barely-intelligible words against Joseph's skin. Guardati, Jojo, and he breathes in deep like if he doesn't have the smell of Joseph in his lungs he might just die.]