[It feels like . . . falling from a high place and not knowing if you're ever going to land. That's what it feels like, when Joseph looks at him like that, begs him like that, when his stomach drops and his breathing catches. If he'd thought about it before he would've expected to feel triumph, getting Joseph to beg - about anything, not just this - but while there's triumph there, it doesn't even come close to one simple realization.]
[There's nothing in the world he wants more than to give Joseph exactly what he wants, and as much of it as he can take. This is exactly where he wants to be, maybe where he needs to be, right here with Joseph looking at him like that, loved and desperate to be loved more. He feels fierce and protective, simmering with the desire to make him do that again, to hear please until there's no need for either of them to beg anymore.]
[He wants Joseph to be happy. That's all he wants.]
[The realization hits him hard, harder than the fingers digging into his shoulder. He makes a sound, a helpless sort of snarl, pinned in Joseph's gaze as he is, bites down roughly on his hipbone and then kissing the inside of his thigh. It's stupid, how much he wants to leave marks everywhere, how much, at least in this one way, he wants to be remembered.]
Yeah, Jojo.
[His voice is low against Joseph's thigh, eyes bright and intent. He's pretty sure he couldn't look away if he tried.]
Whatever you want. Anything, yeah?
[Anything. But they've almost always been like that anyway, so this . . . it almost makes sense. And maybe he's wanted something more than this in his life, but as he kisses his way up Joseph's cock and closes his lips around the tip, it's difficult to think of what it could have been.]
no subject
[There's nothing in the world he wants more than to give Joseph exactly what he wants, and as much of it as he can take. This is exactly where he wants to be, maybe where he needs to be, right here with Joseph looking at him like that, loved and desperate to be loved more. He feels fierce and protective, simmering with the desire to make him do that again, to hear please until there's no need for either of them to beg anymore.]
[He wants Joseph to be happy. That's all he wants.]
[The realization hits him hard, harder than the fingers digging into his shoulder. He makes a sound, a helpless sort of snarl, pinned in Joseph's gaze as he is, bites down roughly on his hipbone and then kissing the inside of his thigh. It's stupid, how much he wants to leave marks everywhere, how much, at least in this one way, he wants to be remembered.]
Yeah, Jojo.
[His voice is low against Joseph's thigh, eyes bright and intent. He's pretty sure he couldn't look away if he tried.]
Whatever you want. Anything, yeah?
[Anything. But they've almost always been like that anyway, so this . . . it almost makes sense. And maybe he's wanted something more than this in his life, but as he kisses his way up Joseph's cock and closes his lips around the tip, it's difficult to think of what it could have been.]