mylegacy | ic inbox / drift fleet

[He can tell it's hard for her. He couldn't precisely say how he can tell; maybe it's something about her tone or the way she tenses up just a little in his arms or because she has to say it twice, like she's trying to convince herself. One of those things, or just instinct, maybe.]

[It doesn't matter how he knows. Just that he does - that they're the same in this way, too, and that helps convince him that he's doing the right thing.]

[Someone else, she says, and he pulls away just slightly, puts his hands on her shoulders and looks at her with narrow-eyed concern. Someone else on the Fleet. Someone dangerous, maybe, someone she thinks he needs to be aware of at least. He isn't expecting Stefan's name; his fingers flex without tightening on her shoulders when he hears it.]

I met him. He . . . we're working on the, I don't remember what he called it. The religious center, on the Iskaulit.

[Working together. He gets the feeling he should regret that, maybe; she says epic love but she says was, too, and the way she's saying all of this, there's more instinct here, that he did something and he hurt her and that, that is not permissible.]

So he knows about you, too, [he says, as gently as he can manage, because asking about the other things - the things she wants to tell him, the things she'll have to tell him slowly - would be too cruel.] Is that right?

[Elena nods slowly.]

He does. He doesn't know everything.

[Although it's hard to say what he does and doesn't know, she can say that much. There are definitely still gaps in his memory of her, of them. It's going to be things that either time will fill in or she will, and there's a number of feelings that arise at that thought, but she pushes them aside.]

But he knew enough to lie to me. He pretended like nothing was wrong. But he always had this tattoo on his shoulder... [Elena briefly gestures to her own.] We got caught out in a rainstorm and I noticed the tattoo was missing. I think he tried to lie about what happened to it, but he came clean with everything.

[And that frankly doesn't mean as much to her as Stefan probably would like for it to. Telling the truth after lying (and lying about something that important) doesn't make the lying go away or okay.]

He said being around me helped him remember more. Until he spoke to me, the only thing he could remember is that I can't cook and that we dated. Memories started coming back to him that he didn't have the first time we talked on the Fleet. He has his tattoo back and he's trying really hard to be the Stefan I know, but...

[Elena shakes her head a little. It's just not the same. She's worried it will never be the same while simultaneously worrying it will be exactly the same.]

He still doesn't know everything about us or about himself. I'm worried.

[He knew enough to lie to me.]

[Which means he was right. He is not as thrilled about being right at the moment as he usually is. His mouth twists into a tight frown as he nods, rests his hand at the small of her back even though they've made a little space between them.]

[It's not as though he's perfect. He's lied to people before, girls especially. But not . . . like this, in a situation that's life-and-death, a situation this dangerous. Not like this, with his epic love.]

Why do you think he lied?

[Wait, no, that's not the question he meant to ask. He shakes his head sharply, fixes her with an intent look.]

That's not - you don't have to answer that. What I meant was--

What is it that you're worried about? What do you think is going to happen?

[Elena knows the reason why Stefan lied. Or at least the reason he believes and provided her with. It's... It's just not as clear to Elena whether or not it's actually true. Was he honestly trying to protect her or himself? Since she doesn't have a clear answer, she doesn't answer that question. It's probably not the best thing to leave so ambiguous to Caesar because he doesn't really know Stefan. Or at least not the Stefan that loved Elena for so long. It's hard to say how many of those rules apply to the Stefan that's here and now anyway.]

[But she doesn't want to give Caesar answers she can't really be certain of how true it is. And she hates how much doubt she has to carry about that as well, but it's what Stefan's given her as unfortunate as it is.]

I'm breaking the rules here telling you, but... [Elena draws a steadying breath.] The Stefan I know, the guy I loved, he'd want someone else to know.

[Someone who could handle it.]

Stefan's a vampire. He's older than me by well over one hundred years, but he doesn't have the same amount of control I do. Stefan's what's known as a ripper where I'm from. Rippers are vampires that lose control so much they end up tearing heads off their victims. It's not something he enjoys doing later, but in the moment Stefan's just focused on feeding even with his humanity on.

He doesn't crave blood like he would normally right now. He's craving tea instead. I think that's just because he doesn't remember it. But the second he does, it'll come back just like his tattoo.

I don't know how he's going to control it this time and I don't know how to tell him about it. He's not... [Elena shakes her head a little.] I don't know if he's gotten the emotional intensity yet, but vampires feel everything a lot more than humans do. Stefan Salvatore is used to living with the guilt of what he's done. He can handle it.

Stefan Alesci isn't and I don't know if he can.

[He asked her to let him know when he could help, and he meant that. He just didn't expect that need to come immediately. It startles him, not because he isn't entirely ready to do what needs to be done - he wouldn't have offered if he wasn't - but because he thought she would need more time to think about it, to decide whether or not to trust him with this additional piece. He also didn't expect there to be a crisis immediately, but with vampires, he probably should have.]

[There's zero question in his mind, though. She needs him, so he's here for her. He'll drop everything to protect her, and by extension everyone, from the wreckage that has the potential to explode across the Fleet as a result of carelessness.]

[It's what he's supposed to do. It's what his father would have wanted.]

[Still, maybe there's some small part of him that thought it was over, and maybe that one small part of him is - a little disappointed.]

[He looks at her carefully, his gaze intent but not quite sharp. It's businesslike, really. He's never had a conversation like this before, but it seems like he has from the way he holds himself; it seems commonplace, when half of his mind is occupied with the thought of cold fingers and dizziness and blood in his eyes.]

So you don't think you can tell him, at least not yet, but that doesn't make him any less potentially dangerous.

If he does remember it, if he remembers and gets overwhelmed and starts to feed. You want me to . . . ?

[He's asking, but on some horrible level, her answer doesn't matter. There's one choice and one choice only. That's just the way it is.]

[God, he's tired.]

[Elena shakes her head a little. He doesn't have to finish that sentence for her to know what he means, what he thinks has to be done. (That he has to do.) But that's not the only option. She knows from experience that it is an option, but it doesn't have to be the first or only. She can still do something to save Stefan from himself. She's done it more than enough times by now. One more time wouldn't be asking too much.]

I want your help in containing him, [she corrects with a small shake of her head.] I don't know how vampires in your world work, but vampires like us start to desiccate if we don't feed. If he dries out for a little while, he'll be weaker and easier to help.

It'll just be trapping him that'll be a little difficult without vervain. But all we'd have to do is something like break his neck. It'd be enough to knock him out for a few hours.

He can come back from it. I know he can.

[Ah. Right, of course. Some people don't have to fight for their lives all the time. For some people, death isn't their first instinct.]

[His expression goes blank and unreadable for a few moments. More than anything, it's because he's jealous of her compassion. What a bizarre thing to be. But after a while, he nods.]

If that's what you want me to do, then that's what I'll do.

Are you sure?

[Unlike some people might be in asking a question like that, Elena is sincere. She doesn't want to put Caesar in a position where he has to do something he's not fully comfortable with doing. She doesn't have the right to do that and would never try to pretend as though it were otherwise.]

I'm sure.

[And, because it's Elena, he . . . actually does want to explain. So.]

It's important to me to protect the people I care about. If this is how I can do that, then it's what I want to do.

[Her smile is a little faint, a little weak, but not disingenuous. Elena glances down for a moment.]

Thank you, Caesar.

[For making her feel safe.]

ic inbox / drift fleet

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject