[Where is he going with this? What is he trying to say? What's his point? It shouldn't matter, he knows. No matter how much he wants, needs, loves Joseph, it shouldn't matter, because Joseph has his job to do, his legacy to carry out, his family, and Caesar — Caesar is dead.]
[Except he can't stop thinking about it now. Guilt swarms in the pit of his stomach thinking about Suzie, but he's thinking about Joseph, too, how safe it feels curled in the crook of his arm in the night after a dream leaves him shaking, how easily he got used to the snoring and the boots left in a pile by the door and the differentness of him, the way he takes up space.]
[He can't stop thinking about the space between them, and how much he wants to close it. He shouldn't. God, he shouldn't, but . . .]
And what you feel about me. That's — love.
[Slowly, so slowly, his fingers loosen on the countertop. They flex and fall to his side, just for a moment, and then he lifts them again and reaches out, but only halfway, as though he's afraid he'll be bitten if he makes the wrong move. Not by Joseph; maybe by karma.]
no subject
[Where is he going with this? What is he trying to say? What's his point? It shouldn't matter, he knows. No matter how much he wants, needs, loves Joseph, it shouldn't matter, because Joseph has his job to do, his legacy to carry out, his family, and Caesar — Caesar is dead.]
[Except he can't stop thinking about it now. Guilt swarms in the pit of his stomach thinking about Suzie, but he's thinking about Joseph, too, how safe it feels curled in the crook of his arm in the night after a dream leaves him shaking, how easily he got used to the snoring and the boots left in a pile by the door and the differentness of him, the way he takes up space.]
[He can't stop thinking about the space between them, and how much he wants to close it. He shouldn't. God, he shouldn't, but . . .]
And what you feel about me. That's — love.
[Slowly, so slowly, his fingers loosen on the countertop. They flex and fall to his side, just for a moment, and then he lifts them again and reaches out, but only halfway, as though he's afraid he'll be bitten if he makes the wrong move. Not by Joseph; maybe by karma.]
Is that right?