if it makes you feel better i can show you the list of things i have to explain to my parents
-hierophant -running off to egypt -being dead -everything this city chooses to be -befriending the mafia -dating a juvenile delinquent who solves most problems with his fists
there's probably more but i can't think of it right now
but you're still joseph's friend first and foremost. i'd think that he'd want to help you out with something like that with whatever resources were available.
i'm trying the best i can to convince myself that i'm going to go back no matter whar, and most of the time i can believe that. i've been trying since the day i got here to convince myself that i'm still alive. but sometimes i have to acknowledge that there's a real chance going home isn't possible no matter how much i want it.
it scares the hell out of me
and i don't always want to talk to jojo about it because i know he's as fucked up about it as i am
no subject
-hierophant
-running off to egypt
-being dead
-everything this city chooses to be
-befriending the mafia
-dating a juvenile delinquent who solves most problems with his fists
there's probably more but i can't think of it right now
no subject
it's not even my parents, it would be easier if it were my parents, but i'm supposed to be an example or something
no subject
or at least more difficult
no subject
. . .
could i get a job
can dead people get jobs
if i can't get a job and the foundation doesn't give me a stipend my family can't eat
maybe i could steal someone's identity
no subject
they're good at handling the loose ends that come with impossible things like this
no subject
what do i
hm
wouldn't that be a conflict of interest somehow
no subject
no subject
all of that
no subject
but you're still joseph's friend first and foremost. i'd think that he'd want to help you out with something like that with whatever resources were available.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
how did you know that's why
no subject
also i know you
no subject
i don't want to just beg for money!
no subject
no subject
alternately i might be arguing just to argue
no subject
no subject
no subject
it's the easiest thing to fall back on rather than start addressing having actual emotions, probably
no subject
i keep thinking about going back and then making myself stop thinking about it because it won't happen and even if it did it wouldn't be the same
like it is here
but i want it to be
but also i don't want to think about it
no subject
i'm trying the best i can to convince myself that i'm going to go back no matter whar, and most of the time i can believe that. i've been trying since the day i got here to convince myself that i'm still alive. but sometimes i have to acknowledge that there's a real chance going home isn't possible no matter how much i want it.
it scares the hell out of me
and i don't always want to talk to jojo about it because i know he's as fucked up about it as i am
so basically i try not to think about it either
(no subject)
(no subject)