mylegacy | ic inbox ( ruby city )

I'M SORRY, I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU SOONER

it was a little while ago, i was sparring with polnareff and he pissed me off so i hit him with it.

[as one does.]

I'm not sure if I can do it again, at least not reliably. But I'll give it another try if you want to meet me somewhere.

yes u pick wher

[HE TEXTS ONE-HANDED AS HE DIGS AROUND FOR HIS COAT]

[you two are so excited stop being cute]

How about somewhere near the park? It's easier than running all the way to the beach.

ok see u there

[he zoom]

[race u there]

[Kakyoin would probably get there first (he already wasn't too far off), standing around in a turtleneck and leather jacket with a wide and excited grin on his scarred face. Maybe he could do it again and maybe not...but he'd done it once. Even if he failed today, once was better than never having done it at all. Right?]

Hey--over here.

[Hey, Kakyoin, guess who's actually fucking smiling for once? This guy. This is the guy who's smiling. He zooms over to Kakyoin's side and claps him on the shoulder, fairly buzzing with excited energy.]

I can't believe you didn't tell me.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A couple of other things came up and I guess it just completely slipped my mind. It won't happen again, I promise.

[His own smile only turned brighter in response--it was contagious seeing his friend/teacher/sort-of-family this happy for once.]

Well. It's fine, I forgive you.

[He steps back a little. Fidget, fidget.]

Show me?

Like I said, I'm not sure I can do it again. Just as fair warning.

[Hierophant appeared curled around his hand, extending behind its user and splitting off into several tripwires.]

...but I'll do my best.

Your worst is about a hundred times better than most people's best. It'll be fine. Go on.

[He answered with a slight nod, trying to focus. How'd he done this so easily last time?]

[...if he thought about it, that was an easy question to answer. The problem was that he thought and overthought every breath and action he took. And when he'd sparred with Polnareff, that brilliantly strategic mind had watched Polnareff refuse to take attacks his opponent was open for, let himself be put at a disadvantage even while Kakyoin kept pushing without hesitation.]

['You say you're fine, but I saw you nearly cut in half not a week ago, Kakyoin, I can't just--']

[He knew why. He understood. But it pissed him off enough to shove thought into the backseat and let frustration become his driving force.]

[Shut up. Shut up, shut up, don't you dare look at me like I'm going to break.]

[If he tried to bring up that bitter frustration, maybe it would be that straightforward again. Maybe he could take a few slow, measured breaths even as his grip on Hierophant curled into something tense and white-knuckled. Breathe, focus, forget how understandable Polnareff's hesitation was and focus on how goddamn angry he was about it.]

[Hamon sparked down his arm and through his hand--Hierophant was no different than his own body, so letting it continue through the coil he held and arcing along the tripwires behind him took only a minute's concentration and anger along with some careful breaths to match it.]

[Ah.]

[It's fucking agonizing, is what it is, how similar they are. It's awful, but it's wonderful, too; would just be wonderful if they hadn't both had to pay such a steep price for their anger, their pride, their desire for vengeance.]

[Of course Caesar recognizes it. In its way, it's like seeing his own face in the mirror. He recognizes it, and his fingers curl into fists in sympathy, and he waits for the success that he knows will come - because it's Kakyoin, with his talent and focus, and because it's his family, whose anger is legendary.]

[And Kakyoin succeeds. Of course he does.]

[Caesar unclenches his fists and taps the boy on the shoulder.]

Mmm. Kakyoin.

Huh? [Scarred eyes blinked a few times, Kakyoin quickly snapping himself out of that thought process. Hierophant pulled back as well, curling around its user's arms.]

What--was there something wrong with that?

Not at all.

[The smile he gives is small and short-lived. What lasts longer is the way he takes Kakyoin in his arms, pulls him close and tight (though not tight enough to hurt, because dying hurts; he knows better than anyone), the way he holds him, for one thing, and holds him still, for another, so that at least for a few seconds he won't have to strive for perfection.]

You've done incredibly.

--?

[Startled, he fumbled for what to do or how to react before things clicked in his head--of course. Related or not (and he wasn't sure anymore) Caesar really was too much like him. The same short fuse and harsh temper, most of all. So...of course he would understand. Of course Caesar of all people would realize what approach Kakyoin took that yielded actual results.]

...thanks.

[Kakyoin thought he might never get used to the feeling of being so easily understood by people, but...it wasn't so bad. It was enough that he returned that hug with a matching one of his own, letting a slow and hesitant smile break out on his face for just a minute.]

Thank you. For showing me.

[He isn't sure if he should say it outright — I'm proud of you, you do me proud. In the end, he chooses against it, mostly because it doesn't feel like his place. But he tries to communicate it other ways, with a hand at the back of Kakyoin's head, steadying him.]

It won't always have to be that way. But to start out, it's fine. That's how I did it. Sometimes emotion is the best way to access your power.

...I know. [Kakyoin dropped his head against Caesar's shoulder--anger and frustration were nothing new, but having that be the driving force behind any power he had was foreign and a little concerning. Tiring.]

I'll get it eventually.

You will. Because you're brilliant and so am I.

[He shrugs a little and thinks maybe a little too hard about doing what he does next: combing his fingers lightly through the back of Kakyoin's hair. It's easier if he thinks about it as though it's one of his siblings and not some kid he isn't even technically related to. It doesn't feel so odd and intrusive, that way.]

You just don't have to do it today, that's all.

[The gesture wasn't one he objected to or complained about; quite the opposite, Kakyoin seemed to latch on to Caesar even more securely. It wasn't something he'd usually do with most people; nearly anyone, in fact.]

[Caesar wasn't 'nearly anyone'. Caesar seemed more like Kakyoin's own mirror image as much as anything else. Someone who understood--Stand user or not--how he felt, how he thought, what he'd been through.]

[For not nearly the first time, he wondered if this was what having an older brother would have been like.]

Right. That's...we're good at things like that. Brilliant and stubborn, right?

Of course we are. Brilliant and stubborn.

[And angry. He adds it in his head, and he doesn't dare look at Kakyoin until after the thought has passed, just in case he sees it. But it's true. Kakyoin's more in the vein of Benito than anyone else, except more so — angrier, more damaged, much more deeply sad.]

[He doesn't want this type of person to be created by the pressures of the world anymore. The trouble is that he doesn't know if he can actually do anything about it, make anything better. Thinking about that means thinking about the future, and thinking about the future implies that he has one.]

[Once he's got control over his expression, he pulls back, smiling slightly, and ruffles Kakyoin's hair without totally letting go of him.]

We should do something you like for now, though. Since you've done so well. I think that's fair.

[Not a single word was said about Kakyoin's hair being unexpectedly disheveled; in fact his only real reaction was a small, honest laugh.]

I don't really have a lot of things I like to do that much, I'm afraid.

Really?

[. . . Well, it's surprising for all of a second before he realizes he doesn't actually have that many, either. He blinks, unsure how to proceed from here.]

But not nothing. Right?

I guess so--I mean, I like studying, reading, maybe painting once in a while...that's not really 'nothing', right?

No, that's not nothing. Just because it's not. I don't know, mountain climbing or something doesn't mean it's not something you like.

[Kakyoin why are you so weird.]

What do you read, then?

Mostly just...textbooks, lately. Primarily geology, but I should probably look into a couple other things.

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